VULNERABILITY: THE COURAGE TO BE SEEN
During our travels, my husband John and I have a method: we like to walk, possibly to the highest point of the place we're visiting and we try to find the road less traveled, which always leads to discover hidden gems along the way.
This spring, as we arrived in Kotor, Montenegro, our goal was to climb to the fortress of Sveti Ivan that dominates the walled medieval city at 1,200 meters. Most people start the climb at the North Gate but, after asking a local man for the less touristy route, we started from the East gate, which took us outside the fortified walls. The hike and the views were incredible and crowd-free on this warm April morning.
After almost an hour of climbing, we took a water break on the steps of a miniature Orthodox church nestled between trees, before continuing up to the fortifications. This is when we realized that the trail was ending and that the only way inside the fortification to reach Sveti Ivan would involve climbing up the steep rocks into a "window" carved into the thick wall and down on the other side. Here was the reason why this route was less frequented; it was more challenging! And a little scary for someone who's "slightly"afraid of heights. I found myself hesitating before taking the first big high step into the wall. Did I really need to do this? After all, I had already done the hardest part; hike all the way up. Why did I need to climb to the other side and risk breaking something?
Smiling through fear.
This is such a familiar pattern in my life and perhaps in yours. We set a goal and we work so hard towards it but when we're almost at the top, we hesitate. Why are those last steps the hardest? Why the uncertainty?
Because up to this moment, we worked in the shadows, behind the scenes, we hiked up the mountain. Taking those last steps at the top takes a different kind of effort,a different kind of courage, it propels us into the light where everyone can see us, where we can get hurt. We're vulnerable. Exposed to the elements and judgment. But this openness is exactly what makes us stronger and real and propels us forward. That moment when we connect to that soft place within us that knows we're not perfect. That moment when we accept it and still take the leap. This is what authenticity is built on. This is when we GET IT and know we're on our soul journey! When we take off our armor and allow ourselves to be seen just as we are. Stephen Russell tells us that vulnerability is the only authentic state. Being vulnerable means being open... It's your greatest asset.
If I had listened to my fears and stayed on the other side of the wall, I would have missed out on an amazing view. That moment of vulnerability, looking up at that embrasure in the fortifications and the bright light that poured out of it was a lesson I keep learning. I can do the hike, working hard is not a problem, but stepping into the space that is flooded with light is always difficult.
Right now, I am ready to take a giant step into the unknown; I can't even see the other side. I have worked hard on a big soul project: writing a book, and I need to show up and let it be seen. Allow myself to be vulnerable, open and exposed. I might stumble and fall and get bruised on the way, but there is no other way. I need to be daring and step into the light.
If you've done the hike,climbed the mountain and are apprehensive about stepping into vulnerability, take that step into the light with me.
And enjoy the amazing view.
Feeling vulnerable for a few minutes was well worth it, on these rocks and in life!
View on Kotor Bay from the fortress of Sveti Ivan (St John).